Deperire
by DreamingFantasy
Summary: Why is it that people always fall in love with someone they can't have? A young girl reminisces as she lies awake at night.


Disclaimer: That's right.  I own Detective Conan, which is why I'm writing fanfiction for it.  Yup, that's it.  *rolls eyes*  Gosho Aoyama owns DC, so leave me alone.

Deperire 

By DreamingFantasy (Editor: Leftover Shrimp)

Life…

Life was a cruel joke.  Good things didn't happen to good people.  No, instead, good people were punished for being good while those with cruel intentions strutted around, doing whatever they wanted.  

What about me though?  Am I good or bad?  For once, Ai did not know the answer.  In her mind, she was neither good nor bad.  She was darkness, yet not that evil kind of darkness…

_That_ was the Organization.  The organization that had torn her life to pieces, killing the person closest to her heart, her sister.  Ai felt the tears well up in her eyes again, even after all this time, but she quickly shook them away.  She couldn't dwell on the past anymore.  There was the future, and she _was going to avenge her sister.  She clenched her fists, and her eyes burned at the thought.  She would find a way to hurt the organization, hurt it as much as it had hurt her—and __him. _

She paused for a second in her silent tirade.  Well, it had been partly her fault too.  After all, she had been the one to invent the drug that ripped him away from his old life… and his girlfriend.

"I'm sorry, Kudo," she whispered into the night.  "I'm sorry, Mouri.  Everything is my fault."  She had caused the two so much pain, and the guilt was tearing her apart inside.  

Yet, _he_ never blamed her.  Instead, he was there, helping her through everything, always lending a hand to pull her through hard times or a shoulder to cry on. 

"_I will always protect you_," he had said, and he always kept his promises, despite all the difficulties.  That was one of the things she liked about him.  

That stupid detective.  Kudo Shinichi.  Alias Edogawa Conan.

After the death of her sister, life had lost all meaning, so Ai had taken her own poison. She had nothing to lose.  Unfortunately, life had refused to give up on her.  It had sent her to _him._  The one who could have saved Akemi.  

She remembered breaking down before him.  He had said nothing, only held her gently as her tears wet his shirt.  In his eyes, she had seen his guilt and witnessed his painful recollection.  Ai didn't blame him.  It was not his fault. 

After that incident, they had become friends.  Through him, she learned how to live again.  He was the ray of light, the ray of hope, that had pierced through her shield of darkness.  His determination, optimism, and caring touched her.  For the first time after her sister's death, she was happy, and it was all because of _him_.  

But she knew she had no chance.  Kudo's heart was already taken, taken by an angel.  Mouri.  She was the light, and Ai, being the darkness, naturally avoided her.  Mouri aroused sadness in her, perhaps even envy.  She knew that she could never hope to take Mouri's place.  No one could… but Ai didn't hate Mouri.  How could she hate someone who was so nice, someone who saved her life, and someone who reminded her so much of Akemi?  

So instead, she decided to do the very thing _he_ told her not to do: she would escape.  Facing Mouri was too painful, so Ai chose to stay in her basement laboratory.  There, she would try to find an antidote to reunite Mouri with her Shinichi.

Shinichi… She had often wished that she could someday call him that.  Yet fate ruled that out.  It was fate that smashed her life into pieces, tiny shards that she thought could never be put together.  It was fate that killed her sister and caused her to meet _him._  It was fate that _he _would take the puzzle pieces of her life and assemble them together again.  It was fate that she would fall in love with someone she could never have…

That confident detective who never failed a case, yet one who was completely clueless when it came to girls. 

Everything was fate.

Ai looked at the sleeping boy next to her.  She smiled and snuggled closer to him.

Deperire.

~Fin~

A/N:  Second Fic!  Hope you people liked it.  I know the whole Ai thing is kind of overused, but hopefully mine was somewhat different and original.  Anyways, please review!  (Btw, deperire means "hopelessly in love.")  


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